Best Funny Sports Jokes

Funny short sports jokes mostly about football but also includes jokes about various stupid sports stars.

Oscar Pistorious Bail

in Sports Jokes
+8 -21

Since his release on bail Oscar Pistorious has decided to spend the weekend clay pigeon shooting to relax. So far he’s accidentally killed 2 elephants and shot a Jeep that was on safari.

Manchester United Beep

in Sports Jokes
+16 -30

What’s red and beeps? The Manchester United open-top bus reversing back in the garage.

Bolt Controller

in Political Jokes, Sports Jokes
+11 -25

Q. What do Usain Bolt and a Malaysian air-traffic controller have in common?
A. They both sweat a lot during work.

John Terry Donation

in Sports Jokes
+16 -30

In a bid to promote his image and ease race relations John Terry has kindly donated 100 trumpets to an African orphanage in Nigeria. Apparently he was quoted as saying “Blacks are naturally talented at music and with their big lips they should be great at trumpet playing”.

Golf

in Sports Jokes
+5 -21

Played golf earlier today after taking LSD, it was crazy!!

World Cup

in Sports Jokes
+16 -32

Gave my wife £200 today so she can go away and leave me in peace to watch the world cup.

“I won’t need that much” she said.

“You will” I said. “It lasts for 5 weeks”