Best Funny Sports Jokes

Funny short sports jokes mostly about football but also includes jokes about various stupid sports stars.

Ladies Man Chat-Up Line

in Pick Up Lines, Sports Jokes
+25 -31

Hey babe, I’m a real ladies man. I’ve been down more holes than Tiger Woods.

John Terry Donation

in Sports Jokes
+15 -22

In a bid to promote his image and ease race relations John Terry has kindly donated 100 trumpets to an African orphanage in Nigeria. Apparently he was quoted as saying “Blacks are naturally talented at music and with their big lips they should be great at trumpet playing”.

World Cup

in Dirty Jokes, Sports Jokes
+53 -60

3 similarities between the World Cup and having sex.

1. People take their shirts off and hug each other quite a lot.
2. Brazilians always look good.
3. You often see a lot of dribbling in the box.

Mental Patient

in Sports Jokes
+12 -20

The following conversation took place between a mental patient and a doctor.

Patient: Doctor please help me. I keep thinking I’m John McEnroe!
Doctor: You can’t be serious!!

Wayne Rooney Hair

in Sports Jokes
+12 -20

Why did the ‘hare’ cross the road?

To avoid being surgically attached to Wayne Rooney’s scalp.

Bolt Controller

in Political Jokes, Sports Jokes
+11 -20

Q. What do Usain Bolt and a Malaysian air-traffic controller have in common?
A. They both sweat a lot during work.