Best Funny Sports Jokes

Funny short sports jokes mostly about football but also includes jokes about various stupid sports stars.

London 2012 Olympics Debt Joke

in Sports Jokes
+18 -24

Total UK National Debt …. £1.3 trillion.
Total number of people in the UK unemployed …. 6.3 million
Cost of hosting London 2012 per UK taxpayer …. £550

Watching Mr Bean play the Piano …. Priceless

Ladies Man Chat-Up Line

in Pick Up Lines, Sports Jokes
+24 -31

Hey babe, I’m a real ladies man. I’ve been down more holes than Tiger Woods.

Mental Patient

in Sports Jokes
+11 -18

The following conversation took place between a mental patient and a doctor.

Patient: Doctor please help me. I keep thinking I’m John McEnroe!
Doctor: You can’t be serious!!

World Cup

in Dirty Jokes, Sports Jokes
+53 -60

3 similarities between the World Cup and having sex.

1. People take their shirts off and hug each other quite a lot.
2. Brazilians always look good.
3. You often see a lot of dribbling in the box.

Wayne Rooney Hair

in Sports Jokes
+12 -20

Why did the ‘hare’ cross the road?

To avoid being surgically attached to Wayne Rooney’s scalp.

Bolt Controller

in Political Jokes, Sports Jokes
+11 -19

Q. What do Usain Bolt and a Malaysian air-traffic controller have in common?
A. They both sweat a lot during work.