Best Funny General Jokes

Definition of Askhole – Someone who always asks for your advice but does the opposite of what you say.

Just been sacked from my job at the casino. Apparently when they hired me as a dealer I wasn’t supposed to try and sell crack cocaine to customers.

What do you call a pirate without a ship?
A creative homeless guy.

Q. Why did the bald man cut holes in his pockets?
A. Because he wanted to run his fingers through his hair.

My neighbor Bob went to the doctors.
Bob said that he has hearing problems.
So the doctor said explain your symptoms .
Bob said “Marge has blue hair and Homer is fat.”

Q. Why didn’t the lifeguard safe the hippy?
A. Because he was too far out man!!