Best Funny General Jokes

Just paid $1000 for an iPhone 7. Airplane mode better take me to Miami.

Just had a really big scare while walking home. Thought I saw a dead baby ghost in the middle of the road but turns out it was just a handkerchief.

The following conversation took place in a hospital before getting test results.

Patient: Give it to me straight doctor.
Doctor: I can’t were both male.
Patient: Hahaha!!
Doctor: .. and also I wouldn’t want to catch AIDS.

Some day I’ll be skinny. Today is not that day.

The first rule of Thesaurus Club is, you don’t talk, converse, discuss or vocalise about Thesaurus Club.

Was playing charades last night and my uncle suffered a stroke! Unfortunately it took quite a while to phone an ambulance because we were all shouting “Sylvester Stallone! Sylvester Stallone!”