Just had the strangest experience. The lady walking ahead of me sped up, so I did, she began running so I ran too, she screamed so I screamed as well. I never even saw what we were running from.
The following conversation took place between a boss and his employee.
Boss: Do you believe in life after death?
Employee: Yes!!
Boss: That’s good, because after you left early yesterday for your grandmother’s funeral she came into the office to see you.
Last night a girl in a bar told me “I wouldn’t f*ck you if you were the last person alive.”
I leaned over to her and whispered “But who would be around to stop me?”