Best Funny General Jokes

Collection of general hilarious funny short jokes that are guaranteed to make you laugh.

3 Weeks to Live

in General Jokes
+280 -167

The following conversation took place today at the hospital after the doctor told me I’ve only got 3 weeks to live.

Me: Is there nothing you can give me to help?
Doctor: Try drinking 1 litre of olive oil every day
Me: Will that cure me?
Doctor: No but it will make your cremation a lot quicker.

Bar Conversation

in General Jokes
+160 -53

The following conversation took place at bar

Customer: What’s the WiFi password?
Barman: You need to buy a drink first.
Customer: Ok, I’ll have a coke.
Barman: $10 please.
Customer: There you go. So what’s the wifi password?
Barman: You need to buy a drink first. No spaces, all lowercase!

Two Men

in General Jokes
+144 -40

Just seen two men walking together wearing matching clothes. I asked them if they were gay and they arrested me.

Interview

in General Jokes
+148 -51

Just had the following conversation in a job interview.

Interviewer: Describe yourself in 1 word.
Me: Hired.
2nd Interviewer: Can he do that?

Failed Job Interview

in General Jokes
+146 -49

Interviewer: Your resume says you’re very quick at maths.
Me: Yes I am!
Interviewer: Whats 12 x 37?
Me: 49.
Interviewer: That’s not even close!
Me: Yeah, but it was fast.

Guinness World Records

in General Jokes
+162 -69

My penis was once in the Guinness World Records.

Until the librarian told me to take it out.