Best Funny General Jokes

One of my nipples is a different colour from the other two. Is this normal?

Teacher: Name three Kings of England who greatly transformed the country and made it a better place to live.

Student: Drin-king, smo-king and fu-king.

Just been sacked from my job as a wedding planner. I thought releasing birds would be romantic but apparently ostriches are dangerous animals.

Can’t believe how nice some people are. Got a compliment today about my driving. Someone left a message on my wind-shield that said ‘parking fine’.

There are four stages in life:

1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don’t believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.

Just been fired from my new job at the bank.

An old lady asked me to check her balance so I jumped on her back.