Best Funny Dirty Jokes

The best top rated funny short dirty jokes of all time. Hilariously rude humor that looks at the funny side of sex.

Best dads

in Dirty Jokes
+23 -49

Q. Why do gays make the best dads?
A. Because they know where all the parks are.

The Pizza

in Dirty Jokes
+10 -37

I like to call my penis ‘The Pizza’. Not because it’s twelve inches, but because its covered in cheese, and the occasional mushroom.


in Dirty Jokes
+17 -44

Decided to have a posh wank today.

The people at the suit hire shop were really angry that I ruined their tuxedo.

Beach Volleyball

in Dirty Jokes
+20 -48

Terrible wrist injury in the Olympic Ladies Beach Volleyball earlier today. Hopefully my wrist will be OK by tomorrow.


in Dirty Jokes
+19 -48

Can’t believe how homophobic the Wikipedia page on homosexuality is especially after Orlando. It says that gays are f*cking assh*les.

Left Arm

in Dirty Jokes
+23 -52

I went to hospital last night after breaking my left arm and the doctor told me I had to stop jerking off. I said “Why? What’s that got to do with anything?” he said “We’ve been having complaints about you from the other patients”.