Best Funny Dirty Jokes

The best top rated funny short dirty jokes of all time. Hilariously rude humor that looks at the funny side of sex.

Excuses

in Dirty Jokes
+19 -35

I hate the excuses women come up with for not having sex like:

“I’ve got a headache” or “I’m on my period” or “I don’t know who you are, someone call the police!”

Balls

in Dirty Jokes
+26 -42

Just got my balls out at the hospital but they have no idea what this red rash is. Hopefully the doctor will come and see me soon because the receptionist is useless.

Jimmy Saville New Show

in Dirty Jokes
+5 -21

BBC are planning on releasing a re-run of Jimmy Saville’s successful show, with a new title of “Jim’ll Fist It”.

Jimmy Saville Calender

in Dirty Jokes
+9 -26

Asda have now recalled their Jimmy Saville advent calendars due to a fault. The flaps don’t open past 16.

Bird

in Dirty Jokes
+12 -29

I found out some cunt shagged my bird last night. This morning, there was jizz dribbling out of my turkey.

Green and Melts

in Dirty Jokes, Disabled Jokes
+20 -37

What’s green and melts in your mouth?
A leper’s c*ck.