Best Funny Dirty Jokes

The average person has sex 85 times a year.

Looks like this is going to be one hell of a week.

I was just enjoying a wank when some woman popped up and said, “Find local girls in your area”

I said, “Get the fuck out of my room, mum.”

Q. What’s the difference between a bl0w job and a pizza?
A. When you order a pizza you have the option to pay by credit card.

What do women and glasses have in common? You usually have to spend about $100 to get them on your face.

I got an erection while on the bus today, it was really embarrassing.

I had to get off the bus and wait at the bus stop for it to go down again.

The people on the bus must have been thinking, “What the f*ck is this driver up to?”

My best friend recently became a transvestite and got a boob job. I’ll never be able to look him in the face again.