Best Funny Dirty Jokes

Q. Why is a pair of trousers with the pockets cut out the best present you can give a teenage boy?
A. Because it’s something to wear and something to play with at the same time.

The following conversation took place between a couple of eggs boiling in a pan.

Egg 1: I’ve got a huge crack!!
Egg 2: Stop teasing me, I’m not hard yet.

Just hired a baby sitter for Valentines Day for only $10 per hour. I don’t have any children but they’re a lot cheaper than escorts.

Q. Why is an Australian kiss better than a French kiss?

A. Because they’re down-under.

My friend got mad at me the other day for smelling his sister’s underwear. I think it might have been because she was still wearing them, or because it was in front of his family. Either way, it made the rest of the funeral really awkward.

My next door neighbours made a sex tape last night. They don’t know that yet.