Best Funny Dirty Jokes

I desperately needed a massive shit on the train today but the toilet was out of order, so I just sat there and held it for about 20 minutes.

The woman sitting opposite looked at me in disgust and said, “Is that a poo in your hand?”

Called a rape advice hotline the other day for some support but apparently it’s just for victims.

Q. What do Oreos and women have in common?

A. I like to open them and lick the creamy goodness inside.

What do you call a Greek man with a tampon on his head?…

Abzorba the Greek

My girlfriend always smokes after sex so I’ve decided to start using lube.