Best Funny Dirty Jokes

The best top rated funny short dirty jokes of all time. Hilariously rude humor that looks at the funny side of sex.

White Stuff

in Dirty Jokes
+14 -5

What’s 6 inches and leaves white stuff over your face?

A toothbrush.

New position

in Dirty Jokes
+19 -10

Just discovered a new position called ‘9’. It’s just me laying there on my own. I have no sex life.

Apples

in Dirty Jokes
+28 -19

The following conversation took place in a school classroom.

Teacher: Ok Jimmy If you have two apples and your uncle gives you one what would you have?
Jimmy: I’d have 2 apples and a sore ass.

Miley Cyrus

in Dirty Jokes
+29 -20

Miley Cyrus DVD: $15
Tub of Vaseline: $3
XL Box of Tissues: $2

The look of disgust on the cashiers face as you pay: Priceless

Threading

in Dirty Jokes
+43 -34

To make it straight she pulls it.
To make it stiff she licks it.
To put it in she pushes it.
It’s a hell of a job threading a needle.

Email

in Dirty Jokes
+27 -18

Just tried to email a picture of my cock today but I got a message saying

“Recipient may not be able to receive files this large”.

It was a nice boost for my confidence.