Best Funny Dirty Jokes

The best top rated funny short dirty jokes of all time. Hilariously rude humor that looks at the funny side of sex.

Tesco Value

in Dirty Jokes
+18 -9

I got in touch with my inner self today.

That’s the last time I buy Tesco Value toilet roll.

Threading

in Dirty Jokes
+43 -34

To make it straight she pulls it.
To make it stiff she licks it.
To put it in she pushes it.
It’s a hell of a job threading a needle.

Sentenced

in Dirty Jokes
+33 -24

Got sentenced in court yesterday for having indecent images on my computer.

The judge said “How does 5-6 years sound?”

I said, “Sexy.”

Email

in Dirty Jokes
+27 -18

Just tried to email a picture of my cock today but I got a message saying

“Recipient may not be able to receive files this large”.

It was a nice boost for my confidence.

Hard Worker

in Dirty Jokes
+42 -33

It would be a lot easier to be a hard worker if my boss didn’t keep blocking porn websites.

New position

in Dirty Jokes
+19 -10

Just discovered a new position called ‘9’. It’s just me laying there on my own. I have no sex life.