Best Funny Dirty Jokes

My server went down on me today, I love the waitresses at Hooters.

Managed to get a hand job yesterday. I now work for Argos modelling watches.

Q. What do you call a hooker with a runny nose?
A. Full.

I got in touch with my inner self today.

That’s the last time I buy Tesco Value toilet roll.

You know those sex houses people put in trees with the little wooden hole for your c*ck. Apparently those are for birds.

To make it straight she pulls it.
To make it stiff she licks it.
To put it in she pushes it.
It’s a hell of a job threading a needle.