Best Funny Dirty Jokes

Went to the sperm bank today.
It’s so much more fun than donating blood.

I read a story in the newspaper the other day about a father who paid his daughter for sex. I was absolutely disgusted.

What kind of daughter charges her own father?

The following conversation took place between me and my uncle.

Uncle: The camera on my new IPhone, it’s amazing. It even works under water.
Me: That’s great uncle Steve, but can I please finish my bath now??

Q. Who has the best business model someone who deals drugs or a stripper?
A. A stripper because she can wash her crack and sell it again.

My penis used to be in the Guinness Book of World Records but now I’m permanently banned from the library.

The best part about getting a blow job is my girlfriend not being able to speak.