Best Funny Animal Jokes

Contains funny animal jokes and dirty one liners that will have you in stitches.

Dolphin Tattoo

in Animal Jokes, Dirty Jokes
+184 -99

My girlfriend just recently got a tattoo of a dolphin on her inner thigh. It’s amazing what tattooists can do these day, when you put your face near it you can actually smell the ocean.

Duck Fart

in Animal Jokes
+141 -58

Q. How does a duck fart?

A. Through his arsequack.

Voice In Head

in Animal Jokes, Dirty Jokes
+144 -67

As she lay there in my bed next to me I thought to myself “relax, you’re not the first doctor to sleep with a patient” but the other voice in my head said “But Howard you are a vet”.


in Animal Jokes
+102 -33

Last night a thief broke into my house and started looking for money so i woke up and joined him.


in Animal Jokes
+127 -72

My teacher didn’t believe me when I said I had 36 pets so I showed her a picture of my fish tank.

She freaked out when she saw how many dogs I could fit in there.

Bird Singing

in Animal Jokes
+142 -88

Do birds really “sing” or are they actually releasing tiny screams because they’re scared of heights?