Best Funny Animal Jokes

Contains funny animal jokes and dirty one liners that will have you in stitches.

Voice In Head

in Animal Jokes, Dirty Jokes
+105 -54

As she lay there in my bed next to me I thought to myself “relax, you’re not the first doctor to sleep with a patient” but the other voice in my head said “But Howard you are a vet”.

Dolphin Tattoo

in Animal Jokes, Dirty Jokes
+134 -83

My girlfriend just recently got a tattoo of a dolphin on her inner thigh. It’s amazing what tattooists can do these day, when you put your face near it you can actually smell the ocean.

Bear teeth

in Animal Jokes
+89 -43

What do you call a bear with no teeth, a gummy bear!

Pets

in Animal Jokes
+107 -63

My teacher didn’t believe me when I said I had 36 pets so I showed her a picture of my fish tank.

She freaked out when she saw how many dogs I could fit in there.

Bird Singing

in Animal Jokes
+120 -80

Do birds really “sing” or are they actually releasing tiny screams because they’re scared of heights?

Doggy Style

in Animal Jokes, Dirty Jokes
+228 -190

Managed to have sex with my girlfriend for 1 hour 30 minutes doggy style last night. That’s 4 minutes in human time.