Best Funny Animal Jokes

Contains funny animal jokes and dirty one liners that will have you in stitches.

Duck Fart

in Animal Jokes
+116 -48

Q. How does a duck fart?

A. Through his arsequack.

Voice In Head

in Animal Jokes, Dirty Jokes
+125 -58

As she lay there in my bed next to me I thought to myself “relax, you’re not the first doctor to sleep with a patient” but the other voice in my head said “But Howard you are a vet”.

Dolphin Tattoo

in Animal Jokes, Dirty Jokes
+153 -87

My girlfriend just recently got a tattoo of a dolphin on her inner thigh. It’s amazing what tattooists can do these day, when you put your face near it you can actually smell the ocean.

Pets

in Animal Jokes
+116 -67

My teacher didn’t believe me when I said I had 36 pets so I showed her a picture of my fish tank.

She freaked out when she saw how many dogs I could fit in there.

Bear teeth

in Animal Jokes
+94 -46

What do you call a bear with no teeth, a gummy bear!

Bird Singing

in Animal Jokes
+129 -84

Do birds really “sing” or are they actually releasing tiny screams because they’re scared of heights?