Best Short Jokes All Time

Collection of the all time best funny short jokes sorted by user rating.

Mar

Date

By BillyB

+51 -26

Went on a date with a girl and I told her to text me when she got home. It’s been 3 weeks now and I still haven’t got a text, I think she must be homeless.

Dec

Santa Claus

By Dave

in Dirty Jokes

+53 -28

Why is Santa Claus a heavy drinker?
Because he only empties his sack once a year.

Jul

Bus

By TimmyT

in Surreal Jokes

+38 -13

My granddad died peacefully in his sleep last night. Unfortunately the passengers on his bus all died screaming.

Sep

Cucumber Sales

By Dave

in Dirty Jokes

+63 -39

Asda have reported a 300% increase in cucumber sales since the book ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ was released.

Feb

SatNav

By ChrisY

in General Jokes

+63 -39

You know you’re a bad driver when your SatNav says “In 400 yards, please stop the car and let me out”.

Apr

Cop

By Dannw

in General Jokes

+41 -17

Just had the following conversation after getting pulled over by a cop.

Cop: Do you know how fast you were going?
Me: I was just keeping up with the traffic.
Cop: There is no traffic!
Me: I know, that’s how far behind I am.