Tomorrow is national orgasm day. Are you coming?
It’s amazing how quickly the sales staff at Ikea come to “assist you” once you take off your trousers and get into one of their beds.
Q. What’s the best thing about having an Ethiopian girlfriend? A. You know she’ll swallow.
My wife told me today that I was one in a million. After checking through her text messages it looks like she was right.
Just had the following argument with the wife while out shopping:
Wife: Does this dress make me look fat? Me: Do you promise not to get mad whatever I say? Wife: Yes, sure. Me: I f*cked your sister.
What’s the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral?
One less drunk.