The following conversation took place between a mother and her son after school.
Mum: Your headmaster told me you used the C word in class today. That wasn’t clever was it?
Son: No, it was cunt!
I took a girl home the other night and while things were heating up I was hopelessly fumbling around trying to unclip her bra.
“Is this your first time?” She asked. “No, you’re just the first one with with tits.”
They call me the fireman because I turn on all the hose.
Got really bad sunburn yesterday so I decided to take Viagra. It doesn’t cure it but it really helps when sleeping to keep the bedsheets off my legs.
Q. What hard and pink when it goes in and soft and wet when it comes out. A. Bubblegum
Marriage is like a hand grenade, take off the ring and say goodbye to your house.