Best Short Jokes All Time

Collection of the all time best funny short jokes sorted by user rating.

New Career

in Dirty Jokes
+73 -42

Just decided on my new career, I’m going to be a reverse stripper. My plan is to become really fat, get completely naked, and then force people to pay me to put my clothes back on.

Milk

in Racist Jokes
+127 -97

Why is a good glass of milk like a good women?

Because the best ones are white and 2% fat.

Midget

in Disabled Jokes
+98 -68

I accidentally crashed my car into the back of a midget earlier today.He said “I’m not happy!”, so I said “well which one are you then?”

Local Church

in Religious Jokes
+42 -12

When people at my local church criticise me for being homosexual and smoking cannabis I like to quote them the following verse from the bible.

Leviticus 20:13 “When a man lies with another man he should be stoned.”

Girls legs

in Pick Up Lines
+78 -48

Great legs what time do they open?

Top 100 Things

in General Jokes
+52 -22

Just read an article about the top 100 things to do before you die. Was quite surprised that screaming “HELP ME!!” didn’t make the list.