Wow your hand looks really heavy.
Would you like me to hold it for you?
Guy: When does your dad get out of prison? Girl: He’s not in prison. Guy: Well if I was your dad I’d be in prison.
Hi I’m blind, can I read your t-shirt in braille?
Played golf earlier today after taking LSD, it was crazy!!
Just got my balls out at the hospital but they have no idea what this red rash is. Hopefully the doctor will come and see me soon because the receptionist is useless.
First rule of Alzheimer’s Club… Don’t talk about chess club.