Are you an orphanage? Cause I wanna give you kids.
I watched a cracking documentary about the American Special Forces last night. It was called ‘Team America: World Police’.
Played golf earlier today after taking LSD, it was crazy!!
My girlfriend just told me she has a STD… I think I’m Gonorrhoea-valuate our relationship
Q. What do toilet paper and mobile phones have in common?
A. They can both easily put you in the sh*t if you use them drunk.
Heard on the radio today that black ice is more dangerous than white ice.
Surprise surprise.