Just started the new sensible eating diet. I’ve now stopped eating my meals using a soap-dish and a pair of scissors.
Some people say love is the key to happiness but it’s a lie…
It’s beer.
Anyone want some coconut shampoo? I bought some the other day but I don’t have any coconuts.
I was sitting at work today drinking a coffee and doing some stuff with Excel when my boss put his hand into my pants and started touching me up. He then went back to his work like nothing happened. Being self-employed is awesome.
Q. Why do witches never wear panties? A. They get better traction.
Q: Why did the man with one hand cross the road?
A: To get to the second hand shop.