After becoming a policeman I’ve become great at reading faces. When people’s faces are red it means they’re embarrassed. When their faces are brown it means they’re about to commit a crime.
An irish farmer sees a welsh farmer carrying 2 sheep under his arms, and asks, “are you gonna shear them?
.”No”.says the Welshman..
.”they”re both for me”.
I have a lot of painful childhood memories. I remember when my cat died my mum tried to replace it. She thought I wouldn’t notice but I did and I killed that cat as well.
Just been arrested after trying to donate my sperm at my local sperm bank. Apparently you’re supposed to fill the cup in private not in the reception area.
Q. What’s the difference between God and Rice Crispies?
A. God is infinitely old but the holy trinity of Snap, Crackle and Pop was actually created in the 1930s.