Just discovered I’m not an early bird or a night owl. I’m some sort of permanently exhausted pigeon.
They say opposites attract, try telling that to my short ugly girlfriend.
Did you hear about the man with square testickles? He had cubic hairs.
Just had my dna test results come back. It turns out that I’m a massive c*nt.
I asked my grandmother for “something Cuban” for my birthday, and she got me a Che Guevara shirt.
Clothes, but no cigar.
I hate these double standards.
If you wear a mask while shopping your “protecting people” but if you wear one during a rape you’re “harming people”.