Yo mama is so stupid that when she tried to buy shoes on-line she got her credit card stuck in the floppy disk drive.
Don’t you just hate it when insects make you late for work in the morning. I’m never gonna high-five a centipede again!
Went to a premature egaculation meeting today but nobody was there. It turns out the meeting is actually tomorrow.
Just found out that my local brothel has gone out of business. They’ve got a sign on the window that says “Beat it, we’re closed”.
Just broke up with my girlfriend who was an English teacher.
She didn’t approve of my improper use of the colon.
Hi, is your name Jingle Bells? Because I think we could go all the way.