Yo mama is so ugly she makes onions cry!
I disabled my popup blocker earlier today, or got a divorce as some people call it.
Why did the blond girl have a bruised belly button?
Because her husband was a blond too!
I used to think I was telepathic with the ability to hear people’s thoughts but today my psychiatrist told me I have schizophrenia.
The first ever tablet to download data from the cloud was actually invented by Moses in 1300 BC.
Just discovered I’m not an early bird or a night owl. I’m some sort of permanently exhausted pigeon.