A Scotsman, Irishman and German walk into a bar… There’s normally an Englishman but he’s at the World cup.
Q. How do you convince a woman to have sex with you when she has a headache? A. Sprinkle crushed aspirin on your c*ck!
Q. What’s the difference between twitter and Game Of Thrones? A. Twitter has a 140 character limit.
My psychiatrist says I have a fear of speed bumps but now I’m slowly beginning to get over it.
What is the difference between pink and purple? The grip!
Is your dad retarded because I think you’re really special?