I asked this girl earlier which is more important, length or girth? Turns out it’s consent.
Did you hear about the Irish terrorist who tried to blow up a bus? He got severe burn marks on his mouth from the exhaust pipe.
How do you know when a crab is drunk? It walks forwards.
Why is the letter W called double-u and not double-V?
Found a leather wallet today and as a good Christian I thought to myself.
“What would Jesus do?”
So I tried to resurrect the cow that the wallet came from.
I lost my job recently and don’t have much money but managed to get my girlfriend some really nice flowers the other day. It’s amazing what you can find attached to a lamppost.