Best Short Jokes All Time

Collection of the all time best funny short jokes sorted by user rating.

Mar

Mop Floor

By Steve

in General Jokes

+59 -57

Q. How many men does it take to mop the floor?

A. Zero, that’s a woman’s job.

Aug

Asshole Pick-Up Line (100% Success Rate)

By Dave

in Pick Up Lines

+28 -26

God wasted a good asshole when he put teeth in your mouth.

Aug

Job Interview

By Steve

in General Jokes

+23 -21

The following conversation took place in a job interview.

Interviewer: We’re looking for someone who is responsible, do you fit that criteria?
Me: Well in my last job when the store caught fire my boss said that I was responsible.

Nov

Daughter

By Dave

in Relationship Jokes

+30 -28

The following conversation took place between a mother and daughter.

Daughter: “Mum, am I ugly?”
Mum: “I told you not to call me mum in public.”

Dec

House Cleaner

By Tom

in Relationship Jokes

+13 -11

My house cleaner is really starting to become annoying. She keeps asking me to move out and says she wants a divorce.

Jan

Lottery Win

By Bernie

in Relationship Jokes

Tags: Wife Jokes

+21 -19

The following conversation took place between a wife and husband after a lottery win.

Husband: Pack your bags honey, I’ve just won the lottery!!
Wife: What??
Husband: Pack your bags, I’ve just won the lottery!!
Wife: Now way!! This is amazing!! Where are we going?
Husband: We’re going nowhere, just pack your bags and f*ck off!!