Q. Why do Mexico always fail during the Olympic pole vault contest? A. The best jumpers have all moved to the USA.
Thousands of people were crying tears of joy today as the Royal Baby was brought home. Hopefully the extra tissue sales will be enough to keep tissue manufacturers from going bankrupt after David Cameron’s recent ban on adult websites in the UK.
Some people say Netflix is too expensive but I’m currently paying $100,000 per year to stay at home and watch videos from my college.
My dishwasher broke down the other day. Hopefully when I buy her some flowers tonight she will cheer up a bit.
Q. How many men does it take to mop the floor?
A. Zero, that’s a woman’s job.
God wasted a good asshole when he put teeth in your mouth.