I never cheat in a relationships.
That’s because it would require two people to find me attractive.
You turn my software into hardware.
My girlfriend said she wanted to watch Jeremy Kyle live in person so I shagged her sister and got her pregnant.
Q. What do you call a graffiti artist who‘s impotent? A. Blanksy.
Driving a sports car and staying under the speed limit is like going to McDonalds for a salad.
Yo Mama so ugly that she scared the shit out of the toilet.