My love is like a roller-coaster, it’s got a weight restriction.
Just had the following conversation with my neighbor.
Neighbor: I’m fed up of your dog crapping in my garden. Me: It wasn’t my dog. Neighbor: How do you know? Me: Because I did it!!
If a woman sleeps with a 100 men she’s a slut. If a man does the same thing…. that means he’s a gay.
My young daughter asked me this morning.
“Daddy, what were you and Mummy doing in the bedroom last night, I could hear a buzzing noise, then Mummy started to scream?”
“Nothing darling,” I replied.
It was then I burst out laughing as my wife walked down the stairs with her half shaved head.
My grasp of the English language is so amazing I actually invented a new word the other day, it’s called “plagiarism”.
I was blessed with a 9 inch penis. The priest is in jail now.