Got arrested last night. Apparently watching your lover sleep is only romantic if they know who you are.
How do you make a pool table laugh? Tickle it’s balls.
I cant believe some people. You give someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and then suddenly she’s not friends with you any more.
Me: You have nice eyes Yi Qing Wong: Thanks Me: Its a shame i cant see them
Heard on the radio today that global warming is being caused by methane emissions from cows. Does this mean scientists are finally admiting global warming is bullsh*t?
Once I made a belt out of clocks…
It was a waist of time