I went to a psychic the other day and asker her if I was gonna go to jail in the future….. She said no so I robbed her.
My girlfriend just sent me a Facebook message saying:
“helpmyspacebarbrokecanyoucomeoverandgivemeanalternative”
Does anybody know what ‘ternative’ means?
Feeling excited today. Just graduated from the police academy and also read in my horoscope that I’m gonna be meeting a tall dark stranger. Looking forward to trying out my new taser.
Q. Why are most pills white? A. Because they work.
Don’t you just hate it when your Korean grandma makes a really nice chow-mein but then you find out your dogs gone missing.
Just got sacked from my new job as a bus driver. Apparently black people are allowed to use the bus now.