Q. What do women and snowflakes have in common?
A. They’re both beautiful, elegant, unique and deadly on the road.
My penis used to be in the Guinness Book of World Records but now I’m permanently banned from the library.
The police say they burn all the weed they confiscate.
That would explain the doughnuts.
My friend who is very small, told me he was pick pocketed. I was shocked, I never thought somebody could stoop so low…
Can’t believe I’ve just been arrested for rape. She told me she was a fortune teller so she must have known it was gonna happen.
Interesting fact, having sex burns 50 calories per minute. Fancy coming back to my place for a workout?