The Best Funny Wife Jokes

Low Battery

in Relationship Jokes
+16 -35

I saved my mistress’ phone number as ‘LOW BATTERY’. Whenever she calls and I’m not around, the missus takes the phone and plugs it to the charger unknowingly.

Fake

in Dirty Jokes
+32 -52

Managed to fake my first orgasm with my wife the other night. I just made a loud grunting noise and then poured warm yogurt on her ass.

Cold

in Relationship Jokes
+17 -38

Me and my wife have a difficult relationship. She’s a really cold person. She’s so cold that her side of the waterbed often freezes.

Threesome

in Dirty Jokes, Relationship Jokes
+27 -49

Me and my wife had a threesome last night with my best friend, it was the most incredible sex we’ve ever had. I know he enjoyed it as well, his tail hasn’t stopped wagging since.

Candlelit Dinner

in Relationship Jokes
+18 -44

Me and my wife had a candlelit dinner for the first time last night. It was terrible, everything was really under-cooked and tasted of wax.