The Best Funny Wife Jokes

Low Battery

in Relationship Jokes
+16 -35

I saved my mistress’ phone number as ‘LOW BATTERY’. Whenever she calls and I’m not around, the missus takes the phone and plugs it to the charger unknowingly.


in Dirty Jokes
+32 -52

Managed to fake my first orgasm with my wife the other night. I just made a loud grunting noise and then poured warm yogurt on her ass.


in Relationship Jokes
+17 -38

Me and my wife have a difficult relationship. She’s a really cold person. She’s so cold that her side of the waterbed often freezes.


in Dirty Jokes, Relationship Jokes
+27 -49

Me and my wife had a threesome last night with my best friend, it was the most incredible sex we’ve ever had. I know he enjoyed it as well, his tail hasn’t stopped wagging since.

Candlelit Dinner

in Relationship Jokes
+18 -44

Me and my wife had a candlelit dinner for the first time last night. It was terrible, everything was really under-cooked and tasted of wax.