The Best Funny Wife Jokes

Experimenting

in Relationship Jokes
+9 -37

Spent the whole of last night experimenting with drugs.

I put acid into my wife’s tea.

Pinocchio

in Relationship Jokes
+8 -41

My wife’s a bit like Pinocchio. Every time she tells me lies, her nose swells up.

Muggy

in Relationship Jokes
+7 -43

The following conversation took place between a husband and wife.

Husband: It’s a bit muggy tonight my love.
Wife: If you’ve put all our mugs in the garden again I’m gonna divorce you.
Husband: *Drinks a sip of tea from plant pot.*

Love Chocolate

in Racist Jokes, Relationship Jokes
+40 -77

My ex-wife used to love chocolate. I think that’s one of the reasons why she ran off with a Jamaican man.

Brides

in Relationship Jokes
+35 -73

Why do brides wear white?

So the dishwasher matches the refrigerator.