The Best Funny Wife Jokes

Love Chocolate

in Racist Jokes, Relationship Jokes
+41 -77

My ex-wife used to love chocolate. I think that’s one of the reasons why she ran off with a Jamaican man.

Muggy

in Relationship Jokes
+7 -44

The following conversation took place between a husband and wife.

Husband: It’s a bit muggy tonight my love.
Wife: If you’ve put all our mugs in the garden again I’m gonna divorce you.
Husband: *Drinks a sip of tea from plant pot.*

Brides

in Relationship Jokes
+35 -73

Why do brides wear white?

So the dishwasher matches the refrigerator.

Freezer

in Animal Jokes, Relationship Jokes
+9 -55

My wife shouted at me today for forgetting to take the lamb out the freezer. Sadly it couldn’t withstand the freezing temperatures and died after a couple of hours.

Swallowed

in Dirty Jokes
+17 -66

My wife swallowed my man yogurt this morning for the first time.

I don’t she’ll ever ask me to make her a sandwich again.

Cooking Lessons

in Relationship Jokes
+18 -79

My wife recently starting taking cooking lessons and last night she surprised me by making spaghetti puttanesca with freshly baked garlic bread. After we finished the meal she said “Now be brutally honest, what did you think?”. I said “That meal was incredible, you fat c*nt”.