The Best Funny Wife Jokes

How Many

in Relationship Jokes
+87 -32

Wife: How many women have you slept with?
Me: Only you, I was too busy to sleep while shagging the other women!
Wife: Right, pack your bags I want you out!
Me: That’s fine.
Wife: I hope you have a slow and painful death!
Me: I’m confused, does that mean you want me to stay now?

Compulsive Gambler

in Relationship Jokes
+76 -21

My wife broke up with me recently because I’m a compulsive gambler. All I can think about is how to win her back.

A Cold Rain

in Relationship Jokes
+95 -42

Whenever it rains, my wife just stands at the window looking kind of sad.
Maybe I should let her in.

Bottle Top

in Relationship Jokes
+64 -16

Just spent the last hour tightening every bottle top and jar in my house. That will teach my wife for saying she doesn’t need me anymore.

Like Best

in Relationship Jokes
+55 -8

The following conversation took place between a husband and wife whilst in the bedroom.

Wife: What do you like best my face or my sexy body?
Husband: Your sense of humor.

Lion

in Sports Jokes
+175 -129

A lion would never cheat on his wife but a Tiger Wood.