The Best Funny Wife Jokes

Ex-Wife

in Relationship Jokes
+186 -87

I’ve spent the last 3 years looking for my ex-wife’s killer… Still can’t find anyone to do it.

Wife Apology

in Relationship Jokes
+109 -28

My wife apologized for the first time ever today!

She said she’s sorry she ever married me.

Paris

in Relationship Jokes
+155 -86

Just had a really big argument with my wife about going on holiday. I wanted to go to Paris, she wanted to come with me.

How Many

in Relationship Jokes
+92 -34

Wife: How many women have you slept with?
Me: Only you, I was too busy to sleep while shagging the other women!
Wife: Right, pack your bags I want you out!
Me: That’s fine.
Wife: I hope you have a slow and painful death!
Me: I’m confused, does that mean you want me to stay now?

A Cold Rain

in Relationship Jokes
+101 -43

Whenever it rains, my wife just stands at the window looking kind of sad.
Maybe I should let her in.

Compulsive Gambler

in Relationship Jokes
+81 -24

My wife broke up with me recently because I’m a compulsive gambler. All I can think about is how to win her back.