Best Funny Surreal Jokes

My psychiatrist says I have a fear of speed bumps but now I’m slowly beginning to get over it.

Got some extra sensitive toothpaste the other day. It gets really jealous if I use other toothpastes.

Twenty years ago I used to feel like I was a man trapped inside a woman’s body but then I finally decided to come out of my mum and I was born.

Just failed my exam at Chef school.

I ran out of thyme.

The saddest day of my life was seeing my mum crying after my dad went to heaven. Heaven was the name of his favourite gay massage parlour.

Have you heard about the new Harry Potter film coming out? He’s gonna be running his own abortion clinic using his new magic spell, fetus deletus.