Best Funny Dirty Jokes

Organised a 3-some last night.

There were a couple of no-shows but I still had a good time.

Got served in McDonalds earlier today by a really attractive girl. She asked me “I can make it large for you for 30p extra if you like?”. I replied “You already have, how bout you come into the toilets and finish me off for an extra £2?”.

People say the best things in life are free but those people have clearly never had sex.

Q. What’s the most intelligent thing to come out of a woman’s mouth?
A. Einstein’s c*ck.

I haven’t had sex in so long, the other day I opened up a can of tuna and got a hard on.

Screwing someone from work is great unless you work in a primary school.