Best Funny Dirty Jokes

The best top rated funny short dirty jokes of all time. Hilariously rude humor that looks at the funny side of sex.

Text Message

in Dirty Jokes
+17 -23

Really hate auto-correct.

The other day I sent my friend a text message saying “Do you want to wank with me along the river?”

Really embarrassing… I meant to say ‘canal’.

Chinese Girlfriend

in Dirty Jokes, Racist Jokes
+92 -98

Just broke up with my Chinese girlfriend. Watching someone squint while they’re giving you a BJ is really off putting.

3-some

in Dirty Jokes
+16 -22

Organised a 3-some last night.

There were a couple of no-shows but I still had a good time.

Served in McDonalds

in Dirty Jokes
+17 -23

Got served in McDonalds earlier today by a really attractive girl. She asked me “I can make it large for you for 30p extra if you like?”. I replied “You already have, how bout you come into the toilets and finish me off for an extra £2?”.

Free

in Dirty Jokes
+18 -24

People say the best things in life are free but those people have clearly never had sex.

Tuna

in Dirty Jokes
+24 -30

I haven’t had sex in so long, the other day I opened up a can of tuna and got a hard on.