Best Funny Dirty Jokes

The best top rated funny short dirty jokes of all time. Hilariously rude humor that looks at the funny side of sex.

Fifty Shades Of Grey

in Dirty Jokes
+261 -87

Had a great time watching Fifty Shades Of Grey at the cinema with my girlfriend. The film was terrible but the reaction of the people sitting in front of us after I flicked mayonnaise on them was hilarious.

Bus Ride

in Dirty Jokes
+244 -74

An attractive lady and an old man are sitting next to each other on a bus, the following conversation takes place.

Lady: Can you help me get something off my breasts please?
Old man: Yeah sure it would be my pleasure, what is it?
Lady: Your eyes

Cinema

in Dirty Jokes
+211 -54

The following conversation took place between a couple at the cinema.

Girlfriend: I think the guy next to me is jerking off.
Boyfriend: Just ignore him.
Girlfriend: I can’t.
Boyfriend: Why?
Girlfriend: He’s using my hand.

Walmart

in Dirty Jokes
+227 -81

Can’t believe I’ve been banned from Walmart. Apparently when the checkout girl said “strip down facing me” she was talking about my credit card.

Maths Teacher

in Dirty Jokes
+228 -86

My maths teacher asked me a question today at school, “What comes after 69?”
Apparently ‘ mouthwash ‘ isn’t the correct answer.

Archaeologist

in Dirty Jokes
+225 -88

Q. How do you confuse an archaeologist?
A. Give him a used tampon and ask him what period it came from.