Best Funny Dirty Jokes

The best top rated funny short dirty jokes of all time. Hilariously rude humor that looks at the funny side of sex.

Blind Woman

in Dirty Jokes, Disabled Jokes
+257 -99

A blind woman told me I had a big penis yesterday. I think she was pulling my leg.

Bus Ride

in Dirty Jokes
+229 -73

An attractive lady and an old man are sitting next to each other on a bus, the following conversation takes place.

Lady: Can you help me get something off my breasts please?
Old man: Yeah sure it would be my pleasure, what is it?
Lady: Your eyes

Walmart

in Dirty Jokes
+215 -75

Can’t believe I’ve been banned from Walmart. Apparently when the checkout girl said “strip down facing me” she was talking about my credit card.

Maths Teacher

in Dirty Jokes
+216 -79

My maths teacher asked me a question today at school, “What comes after 69?”
Apparently ‘ mouthwash ‘ isn’t the correct answer.

Cinema

in Dirty Jokes
+187 -53

The following conversation took place between a couple at the cinema.

Girlfriend: I think the guy next to me is jerking off.
Boyfriend: Just ignore him.
Girlfriend: I can’t.
Boyfriend: Why?
Girlfriend: He’s using my hand.

Archaeologist

in Dirty Jokes
+213 -82

Q. How do you confuse an archaeologist?
A. Give him a used tampon and ask him what period it came from.