Best Funny Dirty Jokes

The following conversation took place between a 7 year old and his dad.

Boy: You know that thing between your legs?
Dad: Yeah!
Boy: Why do girls eat it?
Dad: How do you know about that?
Boy: I saw mommy eating uncle Jeff’s

An attractive lady and an old man are sitting next to each other on a bus, the following conversation takes place.

Lady: Can you help me get something off my breasts please?
Old man: Yeah sure it would be my pleasure, what is it?
Lady: Your eyes

The following conversation took place between a couple at the cinema.

Girlfriend: I think the guy next to me is jerking off.
Boyfriend: Just ignore him.
Girlfriend: I can’t.
Boyfriend: Why?
Girlfriend: He’s using my hand.

Q. How do you confuse an archaeologist?
A. Give him a used tampon and ask him what period it came from.

My maths teacher asked me a question today at school, “What comes after 69?”
Apparently ‘ mouthwash ‘ isn’t the correct answer.

Can’t believe I’ve been banned from Walmart. Apparently when the checkout girl said “strip down facing me” she was talking about my credit card.