Best Funny Dirty Jokes

The best top rated funny short dirty jokes of all time. Hilariously rude humor that looks at the funny side of sex.

Skiing Holiday

in Dirty Jokes
+373 -131

3 men go on a skiing holiday in the Alps and have to share the same bed, in the morning the following conversation takes place.

Man on left: “I had a dream last night that I got a hand job.”
Man on right: “No way, I also had a dream about that as well!”
Man in middle: “That’s funny I had a dream I was skiing.”

Match.com

in Dirty Jokes
+296 -97

Can’t believe I’ve just been banned from using Match.com. Apparently “My dick”, is an inappropriate answer to the question ‘What do you want most in a woman?”.

Sacked Yesterday

in Dirty Jokes
+345 -148

Got sacked from my job yesterday for being a pervert.

I don’t understand why, I’m always hard at work.

Blind Woman

in Dirty Jokes, Disabled Jokes
+323 -129

A blind woman told me I had a big penis yesterday. I think she was pulling my leg.

$100 tattoo

in Dirty Jokes
+334 -143

3 reasons why you should get a $100 bill tattooed onto your salami.

1. You can play with your money.
2. You can watch your money grow.
3. Every woman loves to blow money.

Between Legs

in Dirty Jokes
+319 -129

The following conversation took place between a 7 year old and his dad.

Boy: You know that thing between your legs?
Dad: Yeah!
Boy: Why do girls eat it?
Dad: How do you know about that?
Boy: I saw mommy eating uncle Jeff’s