Best Funny Dirty Jokes

The best top rated funny short dirty jokes of all time. Hilariously rude humor that looks at the funny side of sex.

Skiing Holiday

in Dirty Jokes
+344 -122

3 men go on a skiing holiday in the Alps and have to share the same bed, in the morning the following conversation takes place.

Man on left: “I had a dream last night that I got a hand job.”
Man on right: “No way, I also had a dream about that as well!”
Man in middle: “That’s funny I had a dream I was skiing.”

Sacked Yesterday

in Dirty Jokes
+322 -142

Got sacked from my job yesterday for being a pervert.

I don’t understand why, I’m always hard at work.

Match.com

in Dirty Jokes
+265 -93

Can’t believe I’ve just been banned from using Match.com. Apparently “My dick”, is an inappropriate answer to the question ‘What do you want most in a woman?”.

$100 tattoo

in Dirty Jokes
+308 -137

3 reasons why you should get a $100 bill tattooed onto your salami.

1. You can play with your money.
2. You can watch your money grow.
3. Every woman loves to blow money.

Fifty Shades Of Grey

in Dirty Jokes
+254 -85

Had a great time watching Fifty Shades Of Grey at the cinema with my girlfriend. The film was terrible but the reaction of the people sitting in front of us after I flicked mayonnaise on them was hilarious.

Blind Woman

in Dirty Jokes, Disabled Jokes
+268 -102

A blind woman told me I had a big penis yesterday. I think she was pulling my leg.