Best Funny Dirty Jokes

The best top rated funny short dirty jokes of all time. Hilariously rude humor that looks at the funny side of sex.

Cheap Prostitute

in Dirty Jokes
+620 -372

Got approached by a prostitute today who said that she would do anything for $10. Guess who just got their car washed?

Match.com

in Dirty Jokes
+315 -99

Can’t believe I’ve just been banned from using Match.com. Apparently “My dick”, is an inappropriate answer to the question ‘What do you want most in a woman?”.

Blind Woman

in Dirty Jokes, Disabled Jokes
+346 -134

A blind woman told me I had a big penis yesterday. I think she was pulling my leg.

Sacked Yesterday

in Dirty Jokes
+353 -151

Got sacked from my job yesterday for being a pervert.

I don’t understand why, I’m always hard at work.

$100 tattoo

in Dirty Jokes
+340 -145

3 reasons why you should get a $100 bill tattooed onto your salami.

1. You can play with your money.
2. You can watch your money grow.
3. Every woman loves to blow money.

Fifty Shades Of Grey

in Dirty Jokes
+287 -96

Had a great time watching Fifty Shades Of Grey at the cinema with my girlfriend. The film was terrible but the reaction of the people sitting in front of us after I flicked mayonnaise on them was hilarious.