Just had a great idea to create an app for unemployed people called Poke-Job. You just have to walk to the nearest unemployment office and try to catch a Jobisaur or a Careerichu.
I heard on the radio today that the average person only recycles 3 bottles of wine per year! How dare you? Every week I recycle dozens of wine bottles and beer cans. Come on people!!! I can’t fix global warming by myself.
Instead of wasting money on costly egg timers simply boil your egg to perfection by getting in your car and driving at 60 mph for exactly 3 miles. When you reach the 3 mile mark call your wife and tell her to take it out the pan.