Is you’re name L’Oreal? Because you’re worth it.
Don’t waste money on an electric toothbrush. Simply sellotape a manual toothbrush to your iPhone and set it to vibrate, then get your mum to call you every time you need to brush your teeth.
Did you hear about the police raid of a library in Bucharest?
Can’t believe my wife. Tried to have sex with her in the dark last night. I put my wiener into her hand and she “No thanks I don’t want to smoke.”
My friend Gav died from heartburn this morning.
I can’t believe Gaviscon.
Fed up of website popups on the SexyTube website. No SexyTube I do not want to play poker, I’m at work.