Yo mama is so fat she does her grocery shopping at McDonalds.
What did the father tree say to his little sapling? You’re a chip off the old block
Q. How does a vampire make tea?
A. With a used tampon.
Q. What’s 6″ long, 2″ wide and drives women crazy??
A. Money ?
Give a man a fish and he can eat for a day. Teach a man how to fish and he will bore you for hours talking about fishing and he will keep posting photos of himself with fish on Facebook.
Had sex with someone called Maria Kipling last night. She was exceedingly good.