The following conversation took place between a mental patient and a doctor.
Patient: Doctor please help me. I keep thinking I’m John McEnroe! Doctor: You can’t be serious!!
Have you heard about those new mobile phones for deaf people? They’re called ‘eye-phones’.
Just joined alcoholics anonymous. I still drink large amounts of alcohol but now I’ve got a new name and passport.
Go up to a girl, hug her then say
“WE’LL BE WITH ALLAH SOON…….ALLAHU AKBAR!”
Instead of buying Christmas presents for your kids why not give them wisdom instead?
If you wrap up an empty cardboard box this will teach them about disappointment.
9/11… also known as “Bring Your Plane into Work Day”.