Best Short Jokes All Time

Collection of the all time best funny short jokes sorted by user rating.

Apr

Toaster

By Dave

in Dirty Jokes

+4 -12

What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? “I want you inside me.”

Jun

Book joke

By Paddy

in Surreal Jokes

+9 -17

A large book fell on my head today.

I’ve only got mySHELF to blame

Mar

Alabama hospital

By adam

in Disabled Jokes

+29 -37

The following coversation took place at a hosiptal in Alabama.

Patient: Doctor doctor, I‘ve got Aids, do you have a cure?
doctor: Go home and eat all the food in your kitchen.
Patient: will that cure my aids?
doctor: no but it will show you what your arse is used for

Aug

Parrot

By MarkA

in Animal Jokes

+12 -20

If you have a parrot and you don’t teach it to say,”Help, I’ve been turned into a parrot!”, you’re wasting everyone’s time.

Oct

Can I Have A…

By Dave

in Dirty Jokes

+17 -25

Me: Can I have a shag?
Girl: No!
Me: Wait! I don’t think you heard me correctly…
Girl: Oh, I think I did…
Me: Fine then, what did I say?
Girl: “Can I have a shag?”

And that, Your Honour, is why it wasn’t raype.

Feb

Restaurants

By Amanda

in General Jokes

+5 -13

Q. Why are restaurants better than hospitals for treating sick people?
A. Because thyme is a great healer.