I’m new in town, could I have the directions to your house please?
Just been sacked from my new job at Starbucks. Apparently ground coffee isn’t suppose to contain any dirt from the ground.
Twenty years ago I used to feel like I was a man trapped inside a woman’s body but then I finally decided to come out of my mum and I was born.
Are you a homeless horse.. Because you look unstable.
Q. Why do Jews have big noses? A. Because air is free.
Got served in McDonalds earlier today by a really attractive girl. She asked me “I can make it large for you for 30p extra if you like?”. I replied “You already have, how bout you come into the toilets and finish me off for an extra £2?”.