What is the difference between a job and a dead prostitute? A job still sucks.
If pollen is ‘plant sperm’ then does that mean people who suffer from hay fever are actually being raped trees?
If so then trees should be chopped down as revenge in my opinion.
Hired a landscape gardener but he’s said he’s unable to help me because my garden is portrait.
What’s green and fuzzy and can kill you if it falls out of a tree? A snooker table.
I finally got my own back for Christmas shopping: I took my girlfriend into eight different pubs without getting a drink and then went back into the first one and bought a pint.
Black Friday special. Stay at home and save 100%.